hapless mess

my toe hurts. a lot. this started last week, around the same that my laptop died. maybe my toe can sense disaster. i tried some crazy home remedy i found online (and that i will tell no one, expect mason, about because it's so disgusting), and it worked for about two days, which was just enough time to trick me into thinking i might not have to make another irritating-as-hell ashe appointment. now, though, it's almost distracting, it hurts so much. plus, i've gotten really good at slamming my toe into every sharp, pointed, metal object in the apartment. i must go back to ashe, and hope that i can get out of there in under four hours.

i feel like i am falling apart. not emotionally or anything - more like i'm a total hapless mess right now. i'm constantly being bombarded with really shitty, annoying things all the time. and that is quite possibly the most shitty, annoying way to be.

not everything is crappy: i did get some long-awaited relationship definition today, and i live for definition (no matter how much i try to pretend like i don't care), so that was exciting. also, i studied when i got back from work this afternoon, even though i was way exhausted from the hours-long flying squirrel meeting and subsequent 3 am study-session last night.

now, i'm gonna eat some apples and read something completely school-free and try to chill out.