i want summertime

right now, i'm listening to a cd of the music that was played on the titanic the night it sank, a cd that is one of the last remnants of my twelve-year-old girlhood, seeing as all my leo posters have been thrown away. i listen to this music when i need to study, and block out all sound, because it is instrumental and i don't get distracted by any lyrics (ironically, it's this very fact that is distracting me from "interactions between s+ and s-: peak shift"). it sounds exactly like my grandparents' house in los angeles, because it's jumpy and brassy and sounds like it is pouring out of the player piano in their back room. i think i will always associate my dad's parents with antiques, polished woods, and the creaky pedals of a player piano.

today was the most beautiful day to be at the beach. i couldn't find my bathing suit, and didn't particularly feel like shaving my legs, so i went in jeans, as only i could, and still had a really good time. i finished "a heartbreaking work of staggering genius" and that was lame because i didn't want it to end. i talked to weil about guys, and he actually listened and understood me and offered advice, which i thought was cute. i helped him drink a bottle of wine. i'm just the right amount of sunburnt, and i feel exactly like i do on summer nights, after i've spent the whole day doing nothing in the sun and can look forward to doing nothing again the next day. this is why i hate that it's gorgeous in march. i have to go through several more months of responsibility before i can pool it again.

my mom and dad and clay drove me back down to westwood tonight, and then we went to see "the number 23" in century city. it was an ok movie, i guess. the four of us definitely did not look like we belonged in l.a., that's for sure. i don't think i will ever be cute enough for this place, mostly because i care and really don't care at the same time. i wish i could pull off leggings and tunics and have perfect hair all the time, but most of the time, i can't be asked to try. my mom bought me some judaica from a kiosk in the mall, and that was nice of her. sometimes, like tonight, i literally just have to point to something and say, "oh, that's nice," and turn my back, and she'll have bought it for me. this is not a trick i use to get her to buy me things. it's just a thing she does, and is also the reason i am now the proud owner of a cuff emblazoned with the hamesh hand and a keychain.

this just in: i love my house. i slept like a little baby last night, and hung out with clay and giggled about stupid crap. i looked through old pictures with my mom and wondered why i will never, ever in my entire life be as thin as she was when she was in her early twenties. my dad and i had a deep talk about anything and everything in the car last night, and i always appreciate that.

oh, and i played with sophie:


i feel sufficiently rested and (kinda) ready for tenth week and, eventually, finals.