pannnnic (and hamsters)

i've been having a megacrisis for the last few days, and it's only getting worse. my parents desperately want me to apply to grad school this fall, to prevent me from totally fucking up my life by taking a year off. i desperately want to go to grad school and prolong my dependence on them and put off the day when i will inevitably have to grow up. my problem now is that i only have a vague idea about what i'd like to go to school for, and i have zero personal relationships with professors, and thus have zero chances for a good letter of recommendation. i think i'm afraid of being totally mediocre. i'm not a good applicant right now. so, i'm drowning my sorrows in kasha with bow ties, bowls and bowls of kasha with bow ties.

some lighter news: i bought myself a hamster on saturday, after coming back from celebrating my birthday in beverly hills with laurie. maybe i figured it was ok to spend extravagant amounts of money on a small adorable rodent to brighten up my life after seeing how much people in beverly hills pay for everything. so, i bought a hamster, and took it luke's and now he's in love with it too, which is almost as adorable as the little thing itself.