jog-a-thon

so i did go running for a while tonight. running in my neighborhood is dangerous for me sometimes because this place is pretty much a giant buffet of people i either don't talk to anymore or never talked to in the first place. that makes me sound like a huge beasty bitch, which isn't true most of the time, i swear, but yes, i'll admit, i try to avoid most of the people in my neighborhood. god, that sounds awful. however, i have to run by houses inhabited by ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, people i went to high school with, enemies, and conservatives who really hate my liberal family. basically, i'm glad i'm running quickly by these houses.

as i rounded the corner to huff and puff back to my front door, sam's stupid friends cat-called to me from inside the cars they had parked in front of our house. that's great. the only attention i get is totally fake idiocy from my brother's seventeen-year-old friends. yipee.

all that aside, running was fun. i used to a true runner, with a jersey and a team and a set of hurdles to get over every track meet. and that is what i want to be again. a hardcore runner who enjoys being out of breath and sweaty and revels in the nausea that can only come from running way past one's boundary.

i guess i'm trying to remake myself into what i've always wanted to be, or rather, what i probably would be if i hadn't stopped having confidence in myself. i stopped running when i worried that the sweat would aggravate my acne. and now that i'm hopefully getting rid of that, i want to start loving to run again.

so it's not new years. i'm making fall resolutions.