chocolatiering

last night, i wanted to beat andy. i guess that's nothing new because i always want to attack him, but last night, he forced me out of bed so that he could introduce me to someone who may take dan's place as our fourth roommate next year. i'm sure this person is very nice, and he seemed like it when i briefly shook his hand and then floated back into my room, but i was sleepy and crazy looking and really not in the mood to meet anyone at 11 pm. why, you ask, was i in bed so early? am i not in college? those are very valid questions, and i don't really have proper answers to them, except that i was super exhausted by actually having to go to class and function like a person yesterday, after a four-day weekend of nothing but laying around and eating with one of my favorite people in the world.

also, i think my chocolatiering dreams may be realized. i can't remember if i've mentioned this hope of mine before, so i'll go over it quickly right now. i want to work in a chocolate factory. this idea was spawned as i tried to think of places i could be employed that would not force me to speak to demons enraged by the location of their football season tickets. where, i thought, could i work that would attract only the happiest, most content customers? and, thus, the chocolate factory dream was born. no one goes into a chocolate store when they're irate, and, even if by some terrible stroke of luck, they do, they won't leave irate because they will be soothed in submission by the cocoa beans. i turned in an application for a chocolate store in westwood yesterday on my way home from campus, and immediately got a phone call to schedule an interview. i go in tomorrow morning. hopefully, i will be selling chocolate-y delights to extremely pleasant, smiley patrons very soon.

i have an ashe appointment this afternoon, after work. it's not because i have some new bizarre and hideous health problem, although i guess that wouldn't be so surprising. i'm just trying to be a responsible adult, and if that means humiliating myself in front of a total stranger, that's what i'll have to do. i should write codes, i'm so cryptic.

today, i got another paycheck, which is always nice, because it makes me feel far less guilty about spending money all the time. at least my vice is novels, and not crack or something much more expensive. this morning, in my forty-five minute break after my class and before work, after i'd printed tons of anthropology articles at powell and called udeitha to apologize for totally sleeping through a phone call i should have been awake to answer, i wandered into ackerman and to the book store, which is incredibly dangerous. luke introduced me to christopher moore, who is a sassy bastard, which has endeared him to me forever, and i just bought his newest book "a dirty job," something i'm going to read instead of all those anthro articles i just mentioned. i would be reading it right now, in fact, but i needed to post a blog, because i've been itching to for a while, and still don't have my computer back from my parents, who enjoy withholding important things like laptops and accutane prescriptions from me so that they can call me demanding and selfish when i ask them to drop them off for me. also, i need to help edit some new articles for the squirrel, which goes to the printer at the end of this week, but i'm chronically not funny at the moment.

my stomach hurts.

i know that many more ridiculous things have happened to me recently, but i can't think of them, so, unfortunately, you will have to miss out on them. hopefully your lives won't lose all of their meaning without another story about how some crazy person approached me and acted like a total jackass. and, should you start feeling empty, just remember that that did in fact happen and does in fact continue to happen and will probably happen to me right as i leave the office today because i'm a magnet for that shit, so never fear. i will have more to share very soon.