"so, then i said gre..."

the idea of having to figure out my life scares me. i made the terrible mistake of saying "gre" to my parents yesterday, and my dad proceeded to lecture me (again) about how i'm totally fucking up my entire life if i don't take that test in the next three weeks (i'm not taking the test in the next three weeks). i've been putting it off 1) because i'm lazy and 2) because once i take it, i need to apply to grad school, and i have no idea where i want to go to grad school. i brought up a potential year off yesterday, and was able to successfully steer the conversation to civil maturity, which was surprising, considering the previous talks about my future i've had with my parents. i just have absolutely no idea what i'm planning to do. i know i want to go on with school, but i don't know what i want to pursue, and i can guarantee, barring any mystical revelation, that i won't be any closer to an answer to my life plan in three months, when i'm expected to apply to schools. i know i don't want to do psychology anymore, mostly because i've decided that having a doctorate in psychology (to use as a stepping stone to other things) isn't worth spending more years of my life plodding through material i can't really stand. so, that's out. now, i have to narrow down all my other interests (such as education or journalism), and then find the schools that are best for each one. fun times.

corollary: i decided i'm going to try to become the uber person i once was. i'm going to find a bunch of volunteer opportunities and i need to re-teach myself the four years of spanish from high school, so i can take the placement exam and hopefully get out of having to take a crash course next summer in order to fulfill my language requirement (i've finally realized that my totally amazing score on the spanish IB test is, regrettably, not going to be recognized by the university).

ugh.