art shows, movies, and IB

last night, i went with sam to check out his art show at the high school, which reminded me of when i did my own IB* art show as a senior. however, mine was a fat joke, and should not be confused with the quality of the stuff i saw last night. my brother is an actual artist with actual talent, so seeing his work on display was really exciting.

my fever wasn't as fleeting as i thought it'd be on monday. i have a cold, and although i feel much better than i did, say, yesterday, i'm still stuffy and gross. it hasn't stopped me from seeing people, which is nice, because i'm usually the first person to outlaw hanging out with sick people, for fear i'll catch their disease. both melissa and shiza weren't afraid of my infectiousness, so at least i got out of my house and saw my friends.

i've also watched a few movies i've wanted to see for a long time ("babel" and "children of men") and a few i've always secretly adored ("two weeks notice" and "deeply"). josh once asked me, during a long work shift, which five movies i would want with me if i were stranded on a desert island. my answers were, in no particular order:

1) "when harry met sally"
2) "zoolander"
3) "ghost"
4) "now and then"
5) "stand by me"

josh was really upset by the above list because it didn't include any cinematic genius, according to him. that's ok, though, because if i were isolated by myself indefinitely, those are the five films that could keep me endlessly entertained. in fact, even now, i think i watch "when harry met sally" at least once a month. at least.

so, spring break hasn't been amazing or intense or full of booze (except for saturday, when steve and i shared a bottle of pomegranate schnapps, and i carried it around by the neck like an idiot pirate), but i'm going to be positive and say that it's what i needed. no, i didn't need to get a cold and feel groggy and sad and get sassed by my father for being lazy. i did, however, need to have some time to hang out and be by myself and take naps with my dog and then, sometimes, leave the house to spend hours huffing scented candles at furniture stores with shiza.

i bought a new digital camera, and so i've mandated that i have an adventure at some point. that means, i need to stop feeling shitty very soon, and start taking pictures of awesomeness.


*IB is the acronym for "international baccalaureate," still a word i have to google in order to spell. IB is akin to the AP program in high schools, except that it's billed as way better and far more prestigious than those silly advanced placement tests. the reason for this hype is that IB tests a) are more expensive than AP tests, and b) require much more out of class work. also, the IB program itself is super labor intensive, requiring an extra morning class and several thousand hours of community service, which must all be properly documented and fit into three categories (if i remember correctly: "community," "action," and "service"). IB ate my senior year of high school. IB convinced me not to take any AP tests my senior year because i was already taking five for baccalaureate. IB promised me lots of college credits. i entered college with eight non-transferrable units. eight. it was marvelous.

magical

i got another one of my magical fevers last night. it was magical for several reasons:

1) it came on super suddenly when i was at work.
2) it was really intense and made me feel like i had ebola.
3) it kept me up all night, as i tried to break the fever by bundling myself up in my comforter.
4) it didn't register on the thermometer at all, when, at 5 am, i accidentally woke up my mom as i shuffled around looking for some motrin.
5) it is totally gone now, and i'm left only with the last vestiges of it (namely, the feeling that all my organs were just cooked for twelve hours).

my neck hurts.

i'm also sad because i had to cancel dinner with my grandparents, even though i feel much better, because my mom didn't want to risk infecting them before they go on vacation to san francisco.

i did, however, get to spend the entire day in my bed, watching movies and drinking hot chocolate, totally guilt-free. guilt-free because i'm resting - i was just very sick, you know.

interesante

this afternoon, i was supposed to go to lunch with my grandparents, but that didn't pan out, so they came over after their lunch with my great-grandma, and we just sat around here gossiping (i learned from the best). i adore that i can hang out with my grandparents and feel totally comfortable and maybe even tell them things i can't tell my mom. it's a nice way to spend time,

last night was interesting, to say the least, but i think i'm starting to expect that whenever i come home. it was interesting, but it was good, and definitely much different than it could have been. there are some things i'll have to work out, but i'm confident everything will be ok. i think i'm in a good place with myself right now, and that's a really new, exciting feeling. simply put, i'm together, finally.

now, i have to head down to westwood to work for approximately three and a half hours, which means i have to fill up the tank in the car (again, something i should come to expect when i'm home).

useless

a few posts ago, i wrote about how much i love my little brother. tonight, just as i came home, he came to the door of my room and looked really pained and awful. he said, "you know, i'm not even supposed to be down here." i thought he was referring to the sty in his left eye (it must run in the family), and to my mom's tendency to quarantine any of us when we're sick. no, he said, he's just not allowed to leave his room unless he's eating a meal (or, obstensibly, going to school). he'd been so proud of himself a few weekends ago, when i was home, because he'd been able to kick some of the compulsions and was living relatively normally. now, he's not allowed to leave his room, or read books, apparently, which i discovered when i asked him to not only leave his room but to hang out down here with me and read something. i held that little kid in my arms as he cried about how the rituals rule his life. he confides in me and cries to me and lets me prod him for answers i know he doesn't want to give, and i can't help him. we can't help him.

it breaks me inside. almost literally. he's in the bathroom right now, brushing his teeth with one of the three tubes of toothpaste he still keeps in their original boxes, and touching the doorknob three times behind him. i'm not here to see it get worse, and when it does, it breaks me inside.

it's been a long time since i've cried about something important.

spring break begins

this morning, i took my last final, came home, slept, got dressed again (i hate wearing sweatshirts in public - they make me feel sleepy and gross), and packed all my stuff to go home tonight. and it isn't even noon. that makes me feel really accomplished, so i guess you can tell how much i usually get done in a day.

i'm waiting to hear from udeitha, with whom i'm 1) getting a haircut, 2) eating lunch, and 3) watching many hours of gerard butler. i love my friends, especially when i don't have to be the only one suggesting we watch hours upon hours of gorgeous scotsmen (phantom, anyone?).

that's about it. i guess there's some other stuff too, but, unlike leah, i have to edit my life for this blog because i'm not brave enough to talk about everything. agonizing skin problem? sure! terribly foul eye infection? of course! people i'm interested in? absolutely not!

i'm lame. and done with finals!!!

putzing

finals week of last quarter, i discovered the abc show "day break" online. that show is pretty terrible actually, and i kinda only continued to watch it because there was nothing else i could do to take my mind off my tests. (i handle test stress in an interesting way that includes studying way in advance and then putzing around for the time leading up to the exam, so that my head doesn't pop off my body in a fit of terrible anxiety.) this finals week, i found "30 rock" and it is by far my favorite show of all time (right now at least, when i'm stress-eating baked lays and drinking trader joe's apple juice directly from the bottle). it is absolutely hysterical, and i demand that you go directly to nbc.com and watch it immediately.

i need to go read some stuff (maybe), but i'll leave you with a "30 rock" tracy morganism:

"i studied fried chicken at the school of hard knocks."

genius.

too lazy to form paragraphs

recent developments:

1) i've finished two of my four finals and am basically just counting down the hours until this quarter is over.

2) i dyed my hair back to a color found in nature, and it's super dark and uniform, and makes me really happy.

3) andy and i went shopping for dishwasher soap, and i ended up with a bag of smarties and some chocolate easter eggs.

4) my hair smells like the intense color-treated hair conditioner that comes with the hair dye. i still can't tell if i hate this smell or not.

5) sam got into santa barbara, which is super exciting for him. i'm glad that the waiting game is over, and that he finally knows where he'll be going to school.

6) i only have tentative plans for spring break, and that's so fabulous. i'm going to see a ton of people, that's guaranteed, but the time and place of these magical meetings are tba, and that's great because i'm kinda looking forward to having zero responsibilities for a little while.

7) i've decided i'm going to have a classy affair here at the beginning of next quarter, with cocktails and finger foods and adorableness. andy will be my only partner in crime in this venture, considering mad seemed less than enthused when i pitched the idea to her the other day. i guess that just means that andy and i are totally awesome, and will be able to take credit for throwing a total awesome, adorable classy affair.

8) i want to bake something.